Today is two years since Michael drowned. Today was filled with sorrow and pain. Today was filled with memories of Michael running, laughing, full of life. Today I stood over Michael's bed close to tears. Today was filled with sadness for all that I lost. Today another little piece of me died. Today I realized how little my life has come to mean to me. Today came and went without my miracle. Today was like every other day for the past two years. May 28 It is approaching two years since Michael's drowning; June 7th. The pain is as great today as it was in 2005. I miss him more than you could ever imagine. Somehow, we keep going. The love for a child is the strongest thing in this world. It empowers you, making you go on when your strength is gone. It allows you to do the impossible. My love for Michael is forever and I will do everything I can to get him better. My life for his. Stem cells are the answer to his recovery, it takes time. I hope that the US will soon offer the therapy, but if not, we will travel out of country once again. With the technology improving in leaps in bounds, there is a great possibility that Michael will eventually have some quality of life. As long as he is drawing a breath there is hope. Elizabeth, our Elk's Lodge therapist has been a great help. She not only works out Michael, she is dealing with different agencies on our behalf, with good results. We have a new case manager with Blue Cross Blue Shield. She seems pleasant and more motivated than our last one; time will tell. We received our tilt table and it is working out great. We are able to put Michael in it easily and he is able to stand every day. His circulation has improved greatly. School is out for a few weeks, then the summer program will start. He will attend four hours a day, three days a week. Probably just my imagination or wishful thinking, but there seems to be more to Michael these days. He seems to be more aware of his surroundings. Hurricane season is almost upon us. We will start preparing for whatever comes our way. May 16 Michael is doing well. His oxygen levels have been dropping a little at night, triggering his pulse-ox alarm. There is no reason for concern, but I check on him several times throughout the night just to be sure. He has been in the pool a few times at Silver Sands recently. I am told that he seems to enjoy it. Occupational Therapy is going well with the Elks Lodge therapist, Elizabeth. He gets range of motion and works on his balance by assisted sitting. Michael has been on the Med Waiver waiting list for a couple of months now. Due to budget cuts, the list is not moving. May 8 A little hope: There are children who have recovered fully. But I don't think their parents necessarily keep websites on them. I personally know of little Hannah who is doing very well following her near drowning http://www.prayforhannah.blogspot.com/ or Ashleigh who is also doing very well http://www.ashleighsangels.net/pages/27alhomepag.html I also personally saw a story on a girl who nearly drowned 20 years ago and was in the water for 60 minutes and pretty well totally recovered. They interviewed her at the age of 22 and all I could see was that she thought a little longer than the rest of us before speaking. But otherwise, she was perfectly normal. However, most of these kids showed a lot of improvement within the first 6 months. BUT, I did meet one mother who told me her son postured for 2 years and didn't speak for 5 years. He struggled and struggled and they thought he would never get better. But slowly, over time, he did. And 13 years later, my sister was in high school with him (in some of the same classes) and she had no idea anything was wrong with him until one day he told her his story and showed her his g-tube scar. So, it does happen. And sometimes even after a very long time of very little progress. So, hang in there. Plus, there are great things on the medical horizon and who knows what they may be able to offer our kids just a few short years from now. May 2 Michael seems to be much more aware these days. Ms. Cori, his teacher, said that Michael pushed a button six times on Friday to activate an animated music video. I am skeptical when it comes to his progress, and attributed his actions to random movement. I watched him on Monday push the button twice, my heart stopped. It was the first time in a long time that I felt hope. Come on, stem cells! The Elks Lodge are not only are furnishing Michael occupational therapy free of charge, they also bought us a new Hoyer lift. There are still some good people out there. There is only a couple of weeks left before the raffle at Silver Sands School. This is your chance to win a 1978 Corvette and to help the Special Olympics. Also, Ms. Cori and the gang are trying to raise a few bucks for her classroom by selling ferns. |
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